Did you know that only 19% of women in male-dominated industries feel confident negotiating their salaries? And yet, according to recent data, women in these industries are 18% less likely than their male counterparts to receive a raise when they ask for one. These numbers aren’t just statistics. They are a reality I’ve lived through, one that tested my confidence, self-worth, and resilience in ways I never imagined.
For years, I struggled to break through a seemingly invisible ceiling in my career. Each time I worked harder, stayed later, and produced better results than my peers, I told myself it would finally be enough. I believed that recognition would come naturally if I just proved myself through performance. But the truth was, it didn’t.
The first time I summoned the courage to ask for a raise, I rehearsed for hours the night before. I practiced what I’d say, how I’d present my value, and how I’d address objections. The next day, I walked into the office with my heart pounding in my chest, and I sat across from my manager, a man who rarely even made eye contact with me during meetings.
I remember fumbling through my words, my voice trembling as I laid out the measurable achievements I’d brought to the company. I spoke about the long nights, the innovative solutions I’d provided, and the measurable growth I’d driven. I thought I had nailed it. But when I finished, he leaned back in his chair and said, “Well, we’ll see. Let’s revisit this next quarter.”
That “next quarter” became a recurring loop. It wasn’t about my work. It wasn’t about my performance. It felt like I was being dismissed because I wasn’t assertive enough, because I didn’t fit into the boys’ club, because I didn’t belong at their table. I walked out of that meeting feeling humiliated, questioning if I’d even deserved what I was asking for.
For weeks after, I spiraled into self-doubt. I replayed the conversation in my head and berated myself for what I could’ve done differently. Was my tone wrong? Did I not present enough data? Was I just not good enough? That single moment planted a seed of insecurity that I couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how much I achieved or how much recognition I received from others.
I remember one particularly low moment when I overheard a male colleague talking about his own raise. He had been with the company for less time than I had, and his performance had been mediocre at best. Yet he confidently announced that he had been given exactly what he’d asked for. My heart sank. I locked myself in a bathroom stall and cried, not because of jealousy but because I felt invisible.
The worst part was how isolating it felt. I couldn’t talk to my coworkers about it. My family didn’t understand why I couldn’t “just ask again.” Friends told me I should “be grateful” to even have a good job. It felt like no one could see how much this was eating away at my sense of worth and dignity.
The struggle wasn’t just professional; it bled into every part of my life. I avoided social gatherings because I didn’t want to talk about work. I felt bitter and resentful toward people who had what I couldn’t seem to achieve.
And worst of all, I began to shrink. I stopped contributing ideas in meetings. I stopped volunteering for leadership roles. I told myself it didn’t matter because no one noticed me anyway.
One of the hardest moments came when I was assigned to lead a major project that I knew would demand months of late nights and extra effort.
I considered declining it altogether because I was so drained and demoralized. But I knew saying no would only hurt my career further. So, I poured everything I had into the project, telling myself it would be the proof I needed to finally earn the raise I deserved.
When the project was a success, my team celebrated, and my boss congratulated me with a pat on the back and a “Well done.” But when I broached the subject of compensation again, his response was, “We’re not in the position to offer raises right now. Maybe next year.”
It broke me. I felt like I’d hit a wall I couldn’t climb over, no matter how hard I tried. I went home that night and sat on the floor of my living room, staring at my phone, wondering if I should start looking for another job, but even that felt like giving up.
I couldn’t understand why something so straightforward—asking to be paid what I was worth—felt impossible for me. Why did it feel like I was begging for scraps when I knew I brought immense value to the company? Why was my confidence so easily shattered when others seemed to breeze through these conversations?
The experience took a toll on my mental health. I started waking up in the middle of the night, replaying conversations and imagining worst-case scenarios for the future. My anxiety skyrocketed. I felt trapped in a cycle of overthinking, working harder, and getting nowhere.
What made it worse was seeing the stark contrast between my personal goals and my reality. I had dreams of buying my first home, traveling to places I’d always wanted to see, and building a stable future. But without fair compensation, those dreams felt out of reach. I was stuck, and no one was coming to help.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom—when I was sitting in my car after another frustrating day at work, crying so hard I could barely breathe—that I realized something had to change. But I had no idea where to begin.
If you’ve ever felt this way, if you’ve ever been in a place where you feel undervalued, overlooked, and stuck, I want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the crushing weight of knowing you deserve more but being too afraid to ask for it—or too defeated to try again.
The journey to overcoming this struggle wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But looking back now, I can tell you it was worth every step. After years of frustration, tears, and self-doubt, I finally discovered what it took to reclaim my confidence, find my voice, and achieve what I once thought was impossible.
Everything I learned, every strategy that helped me overcome this battle and transform my life, is something you can learn too. After watching this video, you’ll have the tools to take control of your career, negotiate with confidence, and create the life you deserve. Your transformation is possible, and it starts now.
So, if you’re ready to break free from the cycle of undervaluation and step into your full potential, keep watching. This is your moment. This is your turning point. And I promise you, change is within reach.
As I sat there in my car that day, crying so hard I couldn’t see straight, a realization hit me: no one was going to hand me the life I wanted. I couldn’t wait for validation from my boss, my coworkers, or anyone else.
If I wanted to change my reality, I had to figure out how to do it myself. That thought terrified me, but it also lit a spark deep inside—a tiny glimmer of determination that maybe, just maybe, I could change my story.
The days that followed were some of the hardest of my life. I felt fragile, like every moment at work was a reminder of my failure to advocate for myself. Meetings felt like a battlefield, and every time I saw my boss, I felt the sting of rejection all over again. But that glimmer of determination wouldn’t let me give up.
I started to reflect on all the ways I had silenced myself over the years. How many times had I downplayed my accomplishments in meetings, just to avoid seeming boastful?
How often had I smiled and nodded when my ideas were dismissed, only to watch someone else take credit for them later? How many times had I said “yes” to extra work, even when I was drowning, just to prove I was a team player?
The truth was hard to face: I had been playing small for so long, I didn’t even know how to take up space anymore. And the worst part was that I had allowed this pattern to define my worth—not just professionally, but personally too.
I wish I could tell you that I woke up one day and everything changed. But the reality is, it was a slow and painful process. There were days I felt like giving up entirely. Days when I would come home and cry myself to sleep, convinced I was stuck in a system that would never value me for who I was.
There were moments of crushing self-doubt, when I questioned whether I was even good enough to deserve a raise. I’d look at other women in my industry—women who seemed so polished, so confident, so successful—and I’d think, What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be like them?
It felt like I was trapped in a cycle I couldn’t break. I would gather the courage to speak up, only to be met with resistance. I would put my heart and soul into projects, only to see my efforts minimized or ignored. And every time I failed to make progress, it chipped away at my confidence just a little bit more.
But through all the pain, I clung to one thought: This can’t be it. This can’t be how my story ends. I knew deep down that I had more to offer, more to give, more to achieve. I just didn’t know how to get there.
The turning point came one night when I was sitting alone at my kitchen table, surrounded by stacks of paperwork and a sinking feeling of hopelessness. I asked myself a simple question: What would I tell a friend in my position?
If someone I cared about came to me with the same struggles I was facing, I wouldn’t tell them to give up. I wouldn’t tell them they weren’t good enough or that they should just accept less than they deserved. I’d tell them to fight for themselves, to believe in their worth, to take bold and unapologetic action.
That realization was like a wake-up call. For so long, I had been kinder to others than I had been to myself. I had let fear and self-doubt dictate my choices, instead of standing up for the person I knew I could be.
And that’s when everything began to shift. Slowly, painfully, but surely, I started to rebuild my confidence. I didn’t have all the answers yet, and I wasn’t sure where to start. But I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I had been.
I started paying attention to the patterns in my workplace—the unspoken rules, the subtle dynamics that kept me and other women in the background. I began to see how deeply ingrained these systems were, and how much they relied on my silence to stay intact.
It wasn’t just about asking for a raise. It was about reclaiming my voice, my value, and my right to take up space in a room that had never been designed for me.
I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to quit during that process. How many times I doubted myself, felt overwhelmed, or wondered if it was all worth it. But every time I thought about giving up, I reminded myself of the life I wanted—the freedom, the respect, the financial security, the sense of pride in knowing I had stood up for myself.
And that’s what kept me going.
Now, as I look back on that time in my life, I can see how far I’ve come. The person I was back then—the one who doubted herself, who felt small, who stayed silent—feels like a distant memory. But I’ll never forget the pain of those years, because it shaped me into the person I am today.
If you’re in a similar place right now, I want you to know that change is possible. You can overcome the fear, the doubt, the frustration, and the heartbreak. You can learn to speak up for yourself, to demand what you deserve, and to create a life that reflects your true worth.
It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But I promise you, it’s worth it. And when you come out on the other side, you’ll see just how powerful you really are.
Your story doesn’t end here. This is just the beginning.
When I decided to confront my struggle head-on, I realized that the first and hardest step was acknowledging my fear. I had to admit to myself that I was terrified of rejection, of being told “no” again, and of being labeled as difficult or demanding. For years, I had internalized the belief that asking for more was somehow selfish or undeserving. Facing that mindset took courage, and I knew I couldn’t do it alone.
The first thing I did was seek out knowledge. I began researching how to negotiate a raise, specifically in industries where the odds are often stacked against women. I scoured articles, attended free webinars, and even watched videos by career experts.
But while the strategies were helpful, they often felt generic—like they weren’t tailored to the deeply rooted challenges that came with being a woman in a male-dominated workplace.
One night, after weeks of research, I came across a workshop designed specifically for women professionals. Attending it was a pivotal moment. Hearing the stories of other women who had faced similar challenges made me feel less alone.
I learned that my experiences weren’t unique; they were part of a broader systemic issue that many women faced. But more importantly, I learned that solutions existed, and I could start applying them immediately.
The first practical step I took was organizing my achievements. For so long, I had downplayed my successes at work, often dismissing them as just part of the job. But now, I sat down and made a detailed list of every significant contribution I had made to the company.
I looked at data, numbers, and outcomes—hard facts that no one could argue with. This process was eye-opening. It reminded me of my value and gave me tangible proof to back up my request for a raise.
Next, I practiced. I didn’t want to walk into my boss’s office unprepared, so I rehearsed my pitch over and over again. I even role-played with a trusted friend who gave me constructive feedback. Learning how to articulate my worth without sounding apologetic was a game changer.
Another critical step was timing. I realized that choosing the right moment to bring up a raise could make all the difference. I paid attention to when my boss seemed most receptive, such as after a successful project or during a performance review. When the time came, I was ready.
But even with all this preparation, the thought of actually having the conversation still filled me with dread. That’s when I leaned on my support system. I sought advice from mentors who had been in similar situations. One of them gave me a piece of advice that stuck with me: “If you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.” That simple truth gave me the final push I needed to take action.
The day I walked into my boss’s office to negotiate my raise was one of the most nerve-wracking moments of my life. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, but I kept reminding myself of all the work I had done to prepare. I presented my case with confidence, using the data I had gathered to support my request.
To my surprise, the conversation didn’t go as badly as I had feared. My boss didn’t immediately say yes, but he listened. He asked questions, and I answered them calmly and professionally. When I left that meeting, I didn’t have a definitive answer, but I felt a sense of pride I hadn’t felt in years. I had stood up for myself, and that alone was a victory.
In the weeks that followed, I kept the momentum going. I followed up with my boss to discuss the progress of my request, always remaining respectful but firm. I also continued to prove my value at work, taking on challenges and delivering results.
Eventually, I got the raise. But more than the financial boost, what I gained was a sense of empowerment. For the first time in my career, I felt like I had control over my professional trajectory. I had faced my fears, taken action, and come out stronger on the other side.
Looking back, I realize that overcoming this challenge wasn’t just about getting a raise—it was about redefining my self-worth and taking charge of my future. It wasn’t easy, and there were moments when I felt like giving up, but the transformation I experienced was worth every struggle.
For anyone who is facing a similar challenge, I want you to know that you’re not alone. The journey may feel daunting, but with the right steps and support, you can overcome it.
If you’re looking for a comprehensive guide to help you through this process, I can’t recommend the book Negotiating a Raise as a Woman in a Male-Dominated Industry enough. This isn’t just another low-content book; it’s packed with expert advice, actionable steps, and invaluable insights that will empower you to take control of your career.
This book was a game changer for me. It gave me the tools and confidence I needed to navigate one of the toughest challenges of my life. Whether you’re just starting out or have been in your industry for years, this book offers the kind of practical guidance that can truly transform your life.
You can grab a digital copy of Negotiating a Raise as a Woman in a Male-Dominated Industry at Libriffy.com.
I am an accomplished author and journalist at Fact Finders Company . With a passion for research and a talent for writing, I have contributed to numerous non-fiction titles that explore a wide range of topics, from current events, politics and history to science and technology. My work has been widely praised for its accuracy, clarity, and engaging style. Nice Reading here at Fact After Fact.
